Eartha Kitt

has passed.

::sigh:: too much awesomeness has left

A new face on my radar

I love Susie Bright.

I have just discovered her.  She showed up in two posts at two websites I follow in the same day.  The first: her essay Egg Sex was linked to in the comments of a story Feministing discussed.  The second: She was a guest blogger on BoingBoing.  That there clinched the deal.  Not only was she able to write such awesome, open essays of gender liberation and exploration that were tempered with experience, but in my mind which constantly weighs independent critical thinking with validation through peer review, here she hit on the big one... right into the left field I tend to hang out in.

Since then, I have added her to my RSS feeder and have been pouring through her blog.  She comments on movies, technology, sex, eroticism, and rights.  It is.... ::shiver:: orgasmic.  It's revolutionary, strengthening, funny, and provacative.  Read it!

Claire's Party

Before I start:

1) HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVE!

2)Orion just found the cap to my mouse.  That is... she knocked over my mouse and the cap came off.  Neci likes feathers, Orion likes psuedo-cylindrical clear things.  Therefor, Orion is currently pouncing all over my bed room.  It's adorable.

Now, onto Claire's party.

Claire's party was awesome! There were so many people there that half the party had to eat dinner at the bar!!  I go there before Claire and her mom and husband and his family showed up.  Remember, as this flavors the rest of the night: Claire's brother-in-law is Aaron.  You know, the one I had the not-quite-stable-or-amicable break up with.  The one who broke up with me then proceded to continually show up at my house and freak me out.  The one who sent me all sorts of weird emails saying that we needed to get together to talk some things out.  You know, that one.

Well, apparently he wasn't told I would be there.  So when he showed up at the restaurant, I got the EVAL GLARE OF DETH!  Fortunately he showed up with his family, so his sister and her boyfriend sat next to me, and then his father,  he on the other side of all of them.  That way we didn't need to talk or see each other.  His sister and i talked about college and boyfriends and anime and all sorts of things.  Aaron came up a few times as she had heard bits of stories and needed clarification.  There was a dude named Scott sitting across the table from us, another person from Cookeville, who we talked with alot.  Everyone asked me why I didn't bring my boyfriend (he came up after "OOH! I LOVE YOUR HAIR!" "Thanks! It was a Xmas gift from my boyfriend!"  I had to respond that I didn't want to start any issues as Aaron and I had a not-good breakup and it's Claire's birthday and we're having fun! goddammit!!

So then we go bowling.  i'm on a lane with Claire, Nathen, Scott, and someone else whose name starts with C.  We're sandwitched between the other lanes, so Aaron and I are sometimes up at the same time.  No big deal, no eye contact, no issue.  Suddenly Scott gets up, he had been sitting next to me and we discussed all sorts of dorky things (like WoW).  And then Aaron comes over...
"Elizabeth?"  I'm surprised that he's talking to me somewhat, but I don't want to seem unfriendly and be the catalyst for a scene.
"Hey! Yeah?"
"I think that sometime we need to talk."
"About what?"  If he has something he wants to talk about, an actual topic, I can be reasonable and nice.  However if he just wants to attempt to draw out the past and defend his actions then I don't want to even give him my time.
"The past."
"I don't think there's anything to talk about. It's over."
"I still think we need to sit down and talk."
"no. We're here for Claire's birthday. We should be having fun."
"I'm not saying right now. And I'm having a blast.  But we need to talk."
"Just go, please."

At that point, the easygoing, noworry feeling I managed to have that eveing , the feeling that we were just going to realize that things didn't work out, and to not antagonize each other was gone.  He's still having issues.

Does this mean he's going to start back with the whole creepy email thing?  Will he again show up at my house unannounced and unwanted?

Why can't he get over this. 

I'm done with it.


I don't think the human mind can comprehend the past and the future.  They are both just illusions that can manipulate you in to thinking there's some kind of change.
-Bob Dylan

Claire's Birthday

I had book-club last night, and Claire gave me the plans for her birthday.  Four days ago, I was at Borders and saw a book that I had to remember to mention for her, but now that I'm going to the bday I wanted to get it.  It was sooo PERFECT!  I go back today and it's sold out.  And at B&N and everywhere!!!  Argh!

It's ok... I have a backup plan.

Inspired by Myspace SexxyPix

I see so many attempts as "sexy" myspace pictures that seem to serve no purpose other than to debase the page owner by proving that they need to seek acceptance by others, not themselves.  And I finally exclaimed my annoyance at them to Morgan.

"Don't they realize that in trying to be sexy, it's just becoming grotesque? It's not sexy.  It's fake.  Sexy is what you are, not what you try to be."

And then I pulled out one of my favorite poems.  I think about it often, as like the author I'm not fashion model.  But I'm me and there is so much about me that I love and even that others find attractive.  I mean, how many women have a boy come up to her in a bar and say "I'm not trying to be creepy, but you're absolutely beautiful."?  So internally and externally... I must be doing something right.

So I'm reprinting Maya Angelou's Phenomenal Woman.

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms,
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
 

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
the swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
 

Men themselves have wondered
what they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
 

Now you understand
just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
the need for my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

this week...

So, Blogojavich shakes down childrens hospitals.  Bush gets shoes thrown at him. 

My brother's car is in an accident.  Morgan's transmission explodes.

My kittens are cuddly.  And I was harassed at WalMart.

"Corruption and hypocrisy ought not to be inevitable products of democracy, as they undoubtedly are today" - Mahatma Ghandi

The cats go to the vet on Monday

Neci and Orion are set to go to the vet's on Monday for their yearly shots.  Apparently Orion's were due in November, which makes sense now that I think of it.  Neci's were done last December because I adopted her later.  This is all in preparation for Orion's spaying on January 14.  No more will my kitten go into heat.  Her last heat, however, has been a while ago. Maybe she's gotten used to the odd feeling of fertility.

So before I bring the cats in, I want to make sure they look their best: claws trimmed, coats shiney, all cuddly.  So I started with the coats.  Next time, I need to remember to trim their claws *before* I give them their bath.  Orion was ok like normal, but Neci has gotten to hate baths more and more.  Just getting into the bathroom was a difficult experiance.  I think I need to do hers before Orion. 

I wish I knew where my camera was (again) because then I could include pictures of them in their shrunken state.


--
-Eliz"D2 92 F9 F2 A2 A5 1D E8 96 51 F9 14 16 46 C9 26"abeth

The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the green earth in the present moment, to appreciate the peace and beauty that are available now. - Thich Nhat Hanh

The whole moon and the entire sky are reflected in one dewdrop on the grass. - Dogen

I've Joined the Herd

So, I have another nerd confession to make.

another? what's left for you to do?

I... I...

come on, tell us...

I now play World of Warcraft.

You what?

Come on now, it's not that bad.  I have a level 24 human palidan, a level 20 dwarf hunter, and a level 12 orc shamen.  And the Pali and Hunter are in a guild with some people I know in real life.  And the characters are really awesome...

::hangs head::

This is my hunter Gexxe with her Snow Leopard pet Sidartha and her pet tree frog.  Because... we just do.  She has on her claws.  They're a weopon she can use because of her dual wield ability and.... I'll stop right there.


The score never interested me, only the game. - Mae West

You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play it better than anybody else. - Albert Einstein

On holidays

Holiday season has started.  We had the big meal where we carbo-loaded for the marathon of shopping, cooking, wrapping, and generally celebrating.

 

The "specialness" of the days, however, tend to grate on me.  Perhaps I didn't realize it until last year when I was seeing someone who "doesn't do presents," but I doubt that singular experiance was enough.  Combine the current economic downturn with a parent who puts so much pressure on gifting, between the time spent picking the gift and the amount spent on the gift and the quality of the wrapping (materials *and* skill) and you have a long-time-coming-gift-giving-rebellion.

 

And yet I'm still giving gifts this year.

 

But the one aspect that has become more pronounced is that Christmas is a day of obligatory gift giving.  Obligitory - when the gift is supposed to show how much you care about a person, that you think them special enough to get a gift on that day.

 

I give gifts randomly, I try to have something for people on their birthday, a token showing that I remembered the birthday and I know they like _blank_ (flowers normally, or wine, once i got a friend a gorgeous necklace).

 

I think my frustration is more obvious, pronounced, and defendable with the concept of Valentines day.  Morgan, it seems, is used to big fancy holidays.  For Christmas (and maybe this is my birthday combined too), he is taking me to get my hair done.  This is something I find truely desireable, as I have planned to get it done and it is so nice to not have to pay for it myself.  This weekend he brought up Valentines day.  He got to listen to a brief rant where I was annoyed at the concept of ignoring the state of a relationship the other 364 days of the year and only taking one day to "celebrate" it.

 

If I am in a relationship, I wish to feel recognized and important everyday.  Heck, I couldn't imagine a healthy relationship consisting of one member feeling unimportant most of the time.

 

And this is why holidays frustrate me.  Originally serving as an amplifier for a specific mood, they have metamorphisized into the only day we need to exhibit the appreciation.

 

 

 

 

Generosity is giving more than you can. Pride is taking less than you need" - Kahlil Gibran

 

If we have the opportunity to be generous with our hearts, orselves, we have no idea of the depth and breadth of love's reach. - Margaret Cho

 

 

 

 

 

Things That Make Me Happy

1. Candy-striped sunsets and the moment watching them.
2. The intense blue of a winter sky.
3. Kittens who cuddle even when I've been annoyed at them.
4. Hot showers.
5. So many friends who offered me their place before I "fixed" my hot water heater.
6. A boyfriend who lives close enough that we can see each other without planning it a days ahead of time.
7. A boyfriend who lives close enough that if I want to do something but he's tired, I can go out without feeling like a poor host.
8. Neighbors who come over to shoot the breeze and drink the wine.
9. Neighbors who are adventurous enough to help discover which bottles of wine went bad because of my poor wine rack location (final count: all 17).
10. Finishing a book.
11. Sunday morning snuggle sessions.


The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the green earth in the present moment, to appreciate the peace and beauty that are available now. - Thich Nhat Hanh

The whole moon and the entire sky are reflected in one dewdrop on the grass. - Dogen