the local characters

so one thing I find most interesting about Knoxville after dark are the recurring characters that spice up the evening. One is the hula-hoop girl, another is the scrawny white-boy hacker with waist-length dreds (we had an interesting conversation last night, btw, I heard his whole boasting about def-con and all that), the Rose Seller, a couple bar tenders who go out when not working, and the Wizard. Or atleast I had termed him the wizard. He is this tall black dude always wearing robes and has a huge staff. Ms. A and I last night talk to this one dude who pulls out a big green stone wrapped in wire and on a thick cord. I ask about it and he said he got it from the dude with the staff. I respond "Oh, the wizard dude." and he's like "actually he's a gypsy."

Go figure.

odd... everytime i hit the apostrophe my computer goes into "quick find" mode but quote marks are ok. My arrow keys aren't working either. ooh... look, apostrophes work again. as do arrows. odd...

Dancing

Gah! I'm not an undergrad anymore. I go dance for a few hours and wake up with knees like rusty hinges. Ah well.

So I went out with Jessica, because we were bored and there was no cover. Guys are great to dance with, to a point. And that point is well before he pins you to the wall and tries to kiss you. Bastard is lucky he left with his limbs. If his best friend, a girl, hadn't been in deep conversation with Jessica I think I would have found myself kicked out of another bar.

Who the hell issued ass-hole credits to these semi-people.

What happened to just talking to a girl?

le'sigh

i'm such a girl

dammit, i need to stop.

Weekend party

So, this weekend I attended a smashing gathering of people. The plan had been for it to be much larger, but the core group who attended were most awesome. It was me, Miss S, A, Mr. J and Ms. J (Mr. J's long time friend who drove up from Atlanta).

S and i got there later than we had hoped, but were still the first people there. We scoped out the property, a horse farm, and found the bathrooms, the kitchens, the bbq area, and the lake. That lake was MAAAHVELOUS! It had canoes and kayaks and paddleboats and a dock and another dock and turtles and bugs and fish and...

Soon after A showed up, gave us a slightly more organized roam around, and we set up our tents (we were staying the night). While that was going on, J and J showed up ... with ribs. Sweet! So we were a ribbed, brated, beered, vegetabled crazyness of food, but that's for later. We all got the tents up, said "hi" to the others in the facility, piled up firewood, distributed beer stratigically to different locations and then donned our bathing suits and headed to the water.

After some swimming and diving (I'm so pleased with my new-found ability to flip on dives, i'm such a dork) we grabbed boats (S and i in a canoe, A in her own, and originally mr. J in a paddleboat, but when Ms. J joined they also shared a canoe)a couple of beers each, and played pirates. We stole/drank beer. S and I were UNSTOPABLE. At one point, we gave Mr. J a beer to appease him, then the next time we passed we took that one *and* the one he was drinking. We were up one side of the lake, down the other, and around all the islands. S and I found a case of fireworks on a far dock and told the others that it was beer (too far to see what it was at that point), but "we didn't have enough cup holders for it" when they were distracted, we worked on drinking our booty. The Pretty Pretty Princesses rocked, although there was some B-movie survival throwback moments when A stood up and was paddling, looking all Amazonian and the time that we all started drumming our paddles against the boat in rhythm and then went faster and faster until we yelled and attacked.

The funny thing about boats is because you're consistently off balance you don't realize the effects of alcohol ... until you get up. I could NOT pull the canoe up, it was killing me, and by that time some of A's friends, including K and her puppy, and also N and C (who have appeared a few times in the blog) were able to witness it. The solution: go swimming.

So after more swimming, playing with dogs, and such, we decided to go get the grill going. I had brought 1.5 bags of charcoal and a massive container of lighter fluid. As the grill was MASSIVE we decided to use the whole thing. Enormous fire, lots of meat (and grilled cheese), we had ribs. Then, down to the bonfire. By this point it was back down to the core so we sat and talked and chatted and chilled and set off fire works.

Eventually calming down and going to sleep, the next day was beautiful! I woke up with the sunrise. surprise, huh? So I laid watching the sky change colors to a most beautiful blue, at which point I was hungry. So I got up, grabbed some hotdogs for the dog, and radishes and cheese for myself, checked the time on my phone (about 9), and took out the canoe. I was able to paddle quietly, watching the turtles flop into the water, noticing all these crazy nymph carapaces, and cruising along with the ducks. Beauty beauty beauty.

I noticed some others up, so we fixed up breakfast and revived the fire, I'm rather proud of my ability to do that also. It had been a while since I had, and I wasn't sure if I would be able to.

Noshing on foods, packing up tents, and all that followed. Then we went back into the water. This time a grabbed a Kayak. That thing FLEW! We would have been even MORE UNBEATABLE had we utilized that vehicle. ah well.

Eventually, we did have to leave. Ah well. It was great!

The morning on the lake

I go into the field and suddenly I feel important

So I go out to do field work on Thursday because the work place has no internet or phones, and as my database is stored on an off-site server, I can't do work. So boss comes and says, "Get yur arse in the field" (not quite, more like "you should really get out of the lab!")

So I go out to the site, and one of the PIs has the same first name as me and we both refuse to use shortened versions of our names, but that's ok, until i hear people saying "Go ask X" and I'm like "AAAAAH I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON!!" And I'm trying to formulate a way to say "I have no idea go ask someone else" without sounding like I really have no clue. These were my FIRST POSTMOLDS! You would think after doing this for so long I would have encountered some, but... nope. And it's not like thinking that I would be sought for advice on park collections is egotistical. That's what I do... but this site I was NOT FAMILIAR.

Eventually I got used to not reacting right away and trying to determine which of us they were speaking to.

So, anyway, they get a few visitors through the week, but Thursday, we get the NCDoT, the THPO, the SHPO, and all of the University Chancellors. We were supposed to get the Chief of the Eastern Band too, but he was held up with other stuff.

The park archy, my pseudo- boss, to each of these points out me and my co-workers, two of us (US, as in someone else and ME) are both park employees and UT students, so We get pointed out more and our general work/research/all that get outlined. Now I'm like "Gah! No, I want to be anonymous" ah well.

Then I head home and realize that I never set up a time to meet with that dude... yes, *that* dude ... for dinner. So I text him and let him know that I won't be home until atleast 7. I thought that he would wait for me to tell him I got home and then start on over. No, he instead was there, waiting for me.

huh... someone who's interested in me, curious. I should let it not get to my head.

yay dave

"aww, you're so cute when you're full of violent rage"

"*hug* its ok. just remember these words of wisdom. Everyone makes mistakes. Time will make you feel better, and rum will help"

"eliz is powered by alcohol and awesome"

and he's known me since 2001

did i tell you dave was visiting?

jumping on the bandwagon

Mel and Betel are both doing this, so why not, I've been off the radar for long enough...

1. First Name: Elizabeth, nickname: E, Eli, Eliz, Echan, E-chan, Gexx (long story)

2. Age: 24 going on 82

3. Location: Knoxville

4. Occupation: Government CR lab minion and Museum Educator

5. Partner: in romance? none ; in crime? everyone

7. Brothers/Sisters: One little brother (if little is 6'2")

8. Pets:
Orion: gray cat
Neci: black, brown, orange, and white cat

9. List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life:

1) Grad school... eventually it will be over
2) Dave's visiting!
3) I love my hair!
4) *He* texted me!
5) My house is so dirty
(if you can't tell, grad school is my life)

My life:
Grad School. 2 cats. Dinner parties (August 29, Pirates and Zombies). Music shows. Hanging out with friends. Book club.

Living arrangements:
Myself. 2 cats. 800 square feet house. Big as fuck yard. I hate grass. Call me a neo-urban anti-savannah whatever you want. i HATE grass. It's ecologically unsound. It's ugly. It requires too much maintaining.

10. Where and for what did you go to school?:
Milton Area Senior High School: for my dose of angst and disillusionment
SUNY Albany: to dig holes and write on rocks
UTenn: to pull my hair out.

11. Parents:
Mom and Dad. Both 10 hours away. See them occasionally.

12. Who are some of your closest friends?:
Old school: Betel, Mel, Karla, Dave, Theresa
In Kville: come visit on 7PM on Monday nights. Those are the people who "Know (me) well, but like (me) anyways" (Shamrock, Cutthroat c. 2007, Personal communication.)

welcoming me back

I don't have the internet at my house just now. I will, I swear. My grandfather is insisting on it. I'm not totally sure what to think of this, but he's giving me money for an internet connection. I really don't want to accept it. It's not the "I have standards" thing. I just feel horrible taking people's money. It makes me feel like a failure, that I can't support myself. I always want to. That is why I always felt so odd when Aaron would insist on us going out, but I would say "I can't afford it," and he would say he would pay. That is why I always stressed cooking for him (and his friends) whenever I could, asking what he would want. It was my way of balancing the resource-karma that flowed around us.

But for now I'm trying to get a little back into this slice-of-life / soapbox journal that I call a blog.

I've been a little angsty lately, and I hope that everyone, including me, will forgive me. It's not just about boys, I swear. There's some money problems, I think I'll work that out. I need some time for that. I'll just have to take out loans this year and be very careful with the cash. There's also some medical things, beyond just the general maintaining a static level of health. I'm not quite ready to talk about them just yet, and I might not ever want to. Hopefully when it all plays out there's nothing left to talk about.

I won't deny, however, that a certain male has been burrowing into my worries.

Wednesday, I got back from work a little late, and I was exhausted. Therefor, all I wanted to do was go to bed. I got home locked the door (so I thought) and turned off all the lights except for the one next to my bed (so I thought) and then got ready for bed. I normally leave the light on in the bathroom, as that's where the litter box is, and I don't want to make it any more difficult than I must for the cats to shit on target. I read about 5 pages in my book and realized that it just wasn't happening, so I turned off the light. I noted (so I thought) how dark it was without the bathroom light - which meant without ANY light. My house is so small that any light is noticable in any room. I woke up again in the middle of the night, stumbling to the bathroom without any light. I wish I noticed what time it was, but as I fell asleep by 10, it was probibly sometime between midnight and 2. The next morning I wake up and stumble around, I was late so the sun was already up. I pulled on clothes, did the bathroom thing in the dusk, and walked into my living room where

the light was on.

My living room light is a dimmer switch by my front door. It creeped me out, and I checked my door. The chain was in place, but the locks were undone. Now, I've gone and occasionally, very occasionally, when I'm dead tired, forget to lock both the door knob and the deadbolt, but ALWAYS when I come in the house, the doorknob gets locked automatically on closing the door. It's just part of the motion: open, swap hand to other side, close door, as hand leaves door give the lock switch a twist. But the previous night I was carrying... something... ::thinks:: I had a load of books from my car. So I kicked the door shut so the cats wouldn't get out. So, it was locked by just the chain all night. The chain allows the door to open up a good 5 inches, but (true to the concept) if one attempts to undo the chain, it can only be done when the door is fully closed.

I spend the day telling myself that I'm paranoid, that I was so tired I didn't notice the little bit of light in the evening. But, it wasn't a little bit of light. It was the ceiling light fully turned on.

I try to figure out who would do this, if I was correct in the lights being off when I went to sleep. Perhaps I did it in my sleep? Aaron turned off the air conditioner once in his sleep. But I've never done anything like that that I know of. Plus, I believe that drinking was involved in his instance.

In the two years I've lived in this house, I've never had a problem with people trying to break in. I've had some solicitors who were overly aggressive, and that's it's own BlogTherapy session, but even when my brother left the back door totally unlocked before a weekend in Georgia for a wedding, there was never a problem. I leave stuff on my front porch for weeks on end, and nothing is ever touched.

Up until this break up. A keeps showing up. But, it was Wednesday night, he's supposed to be in Cookeville, as he's working in Xville and living at his dad's. Right? It bugs me all day Thursday, and with my other angsting, I call up A's sis-in-law C, partially for affirmation that he wasn't in town, partially to ask her how she can be such a stable, self assured individual... I was angsting really really bad and needed some advice. I had talked myself to the point where I realized that I just wasn't getting anything. Partially, also, to see if she was going to go see SotS on Satureve. Well, she was busy with a bunch of people (or was this when it went to non-voice mail, I had called her earlier in the week about the SotS thing and one or the other happened so I needed to call her back about it anyways). So I went to bed, trying to convince myself that I was mistaken. I somehow manage to sleep, I don't know how, smaller things have left me sleepless for weeks. And on Friday I go, get my hair done, and call C again, leaving a voice mail at this time, and she calls me back, a little rushed.

Then she started talking about how A was such an arse on Wednesday night when they were cleaning out his Knoxville apartment. I check that yes, it was Wednesday night. That he had left said apartment at early morning hours and headed out to get some sleep. I tell C about my discovery in the morning, and she pointed out the one thing that made me actually think it was possible: he has very "delicate" arms, turning on my light would not be a problem. Also, he's been odd, looking for reasons to show up... toilet paper my arse.

Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but it had me rather creeped out. It's good to know that he really has no reason to be in Knoxville anymore except for visiting his brother, who knows and (as far as I've gathered from N and C (and A and M and J)) is very discouraging of him bothering me... for all of our sakes.

At my neighbor's house

I locked my keys in my house and me out of the house. It's sorta funny because I've actually had a habit of locking them *out* and then looking for them all through my house before I realize that I left them in the door as I brought a couple loads in.

So my neighbor was nice enough to let me stay in her house, it's rather buggy. She fell asleep while watching Dora the Explorer with her daughter. They're (they being the characters) are singing some song about open close and up down opposites.

I called my friend who has an extra set of my keys, so I'm not stuck in here for a while. I just feel bad bc she's out doing dinner with her dad, it's his 60th birthday!! I'll be missing my belly dance lesson, that starts in about 5 minutes. But I figured it was either that or break a window. And, well, I'm a little lazy. Not in the missing the lesson aspect, but in the replacing the window.

I've also got a bit of an issue with personal security. Being all like, normal and that.

It's been a while since I've updated, and even longer since I've *really* updated. A lot has happened since then. I've been broken up with, I'm tired, and I'm dealing with school loans. I need to sit down with a finance officer at the school and go through some of this. Stupid economy.

I'm tired, I feel so far behind, I really don't know what I'm doing here.

I know it sounds like too much whining, but I'm just really... down.

I could use a hug and a bit of self-realization.

Have you ever sat down and realized that you've gone and done most everything in the last 6 months with the only thought, "I wonder what X will think of me. I want X to be happy. I want X to like me." After the break up I realized that after a certain arguement with the boy back in November, that's what my mindset became. So now I'm trying to figure out how to recover all that time, with the little money I have.

I need to get back on track.

It's MY FAULT for letting myself fall into that.

taxes...

I just filed my... tax REFUND!

I'm getting money back this year. This is nice.

Now for the FAFSA...